I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
