I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
