I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
that is very illegal...i love you.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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