At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
