like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
