help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
