We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
