I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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