why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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