I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm really into asian looking animals
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
