My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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