I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's like God shit irony all over that family
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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