and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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