Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
