Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
