We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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