just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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