remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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