You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
