who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
