I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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