it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
