my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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