I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
