I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
