I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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