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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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