A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
