Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
