she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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