idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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