Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
