So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
