Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
