There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
