Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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