Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
