he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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