Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
