took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
