Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
babies were throwing up all over the place
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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