ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
