I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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