he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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