ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
