it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
