You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
