look no pants
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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