I got chris browned last night
Porn is love you can see.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
