I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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