so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
we're chasing vodka with high fives
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
