Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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